Can we talk about gender roles on Valentine’s Day?

Let’s talk about gender roles. About those roles and how they’ve changed in the last generation or two…

I’ve typified that whole list of Alpha Male characteristics all my life but the truth is, I’ve been on a journey over the last several years to drop the mask and interact differently with others.

Especially with women. Especially in light of how our culture is shifting, or has shifted to a more woman-centered way of doing things.

Being a boomer, this shift was a very big deal for me. Truth be told, I thought it was awful when I first began to see it clearly.

And then after a while I would whine about how the culture evolved from men being in charge to women being in charge without any transition time in between where we at least paid lip service to being equals and negotiated everything, and so on…

And now I see that–although friends or couples are free to discuss stuff, negotiate stuff and deal with stuff anyway they want–we have passed into a time when women get to hold the power stick.

Like a lot of us–a lot men in particular–I saw how these things were changing but was probably well behind the curve and wasn’t able to “see” it all clearly or articulate how this was working itself out in our culture or how it might effect me and my relationships.

So by the time I had any real grip on this, it was pretty much a done deal.

I spent most of the ’90s seeing that a patriarchal  system had been weighed and found wanting but convinced myself that the new way of doing things was the aforementioned negotiation and perpetual compromise model that I carried around in my head.

But I get it. Someone has to chair the committee. And although, as I said before, friends and couples certain can work these things out in any way that’s mutually agreeable, for most folks, Mom is wearin’ the pants.

Of course lots of people don’t see it that way. And a lot of men are resisting. You go, bro!

At this point, I just have to throw out a joke. A joke, I hasten to add, that I heard back in the ’60s!

Dude says: “I wear the pants in this family! And I have my wife’s permission to say so!

Now, humor aside, I can now see clearly how ugly and vicious men who cannot or will not accept this can be. It puts many culturally conservative people in the US–your evangelical crowd, especially–in common cause with extremists in other cultures and religions.

The things done here and all around the world to “keep women in their place” are often horrible! And it’s astonishing that so many conservatives in the US are fully on-board with that kind of thing and don’t see how that attitude, when carried to its natural end, essentially makes them into a sort of American Taliban.

This “fight” is going on everywhere. In every corner of the planet. And even though the particulars can be very, very different, the general process tends to be quite similar.

I think most of us are ready to accept that one of the most important–if not the most important–skill any man can bring to a relationship is the ability to say “yes, Dear!”

So let me offer up my own take on where we are as far as gender roles and all of that: “Happy wife, happy life” is a fine mantram for us when we’re not quite sure where we are or what works in a 21st Century relationship.

Men who cannot or will not get on-board drag their feet at their own risk!

 

“Bulldog Ben” Basile

© 2019 Benjamin Basile

Fave Fotos: Places That Aren’t There Anymore

Fave Fotos: Places That Aren’t There Anymore

Sending this one back around for two reasons: one is that I was just thinking of this fave eatery. The second is that it’s a really good photo. Enjoy!

About Photography, Outdoor Fun, Food, Music, and Other Stuff.

In a posting back on June 19th, I featured the well-known local spot Yellow Dog Eats in one of my reviews. I like the place. A lot. Unique Eatery in Gotha is how the header begins, if you’d like to check it out. And yes, YDE truly does feature Fine Food and a Funky Feel. God, I can sure come up with cool titles, n’est-ce pas?

I just realized that one of the photos I took before the recent renovation of the outside turned out well. It also occurred to me that this scene is gone forever now that the renovations are complete.

So here it is. There are so many things all around Central Florida that have gone away, or in this case, have changed so thoroughly that a photo from not-so-long ago can never be repeated. Of course, that could be said about any photo; every moment…

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The forecast calls for chill

The forecast calls for chill

Somewhere along the line, someone decreed that today would be “National Relaxation Day!”

I’m down with that! And it’s a perfect time to pass along my sincere wish that you have an amazing and low-stress day!

This happens to be a regular day off for me. I realize that I may not have a lot of company, this being a Wednesday and all.

But whether you’re on or off the clock, I certainly hope there’s a healthy dose of tranquility and fun in your day.

If the outlook for your day doesn’t seem to be all that mellow, this may be a good opportunity to do what you can to turn it into a more serene scene.

My perfectly-chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio and I are rooting for you.

 

 

A delighted denizen of chilltown, I am,

“Bulldog Ben” Basile

 

 

© 2018 Ben Lawrence Basile

 

Photo credit Ben Lawrence Basile

 

Paul McCartney and James Corden…

Paul McCartney and James Corden…

There are several pretty good late night shows happening these days. I’m big on Late Night with Stephen Colbert. I like Seth Meyers, too.

I’ve enjoyed the little I’ve seen of James Corden who, as you may know, follows Colbert on CBS. I don’t think I’ve seen more than 30 minutes of the show, though, if you strung it all together.

I did take note that his Carpool Karaoke bit is popular and has featured some very able musicians. Some who’re definitely on my A List.

Well, this latest one is hella good! James got Paul McCartney for the latest installment!

Now, if you’ve read this far, I’m thinking you are a Beatles fan! That being so, I’m quite sure there’s no need for me to try and convince you that this video of Sir Paul and James Corden tooling around together through the streets of Liverpool is a very good use of the next 23 minutes of your life.

I’m sure all that’s necessary is for me to leave you this convenient link.

There you are. Enjoy the vid. It had this boomer and Beatles fan spellbound!

 

 

A Major fan of the Fab Four, I am,

“Bulldog Ben” Basile

 

PS: The episode of Carpool Karaoke was released on youtube on June 21st and is promoting Paul’s new album Egypt Station, slated for release in September.

 

Photo credit: if you’re the owner of this fab foto, please contact Ben

 

 

It’s National Solitaire Day!

It’s National Solitaire Day!

Yes, May 22nd really, truly is National Solitaire Day! I love that old-school game and so here are some thoughts on the subject!

I think I played my first hand around the age of fourteen or so. I can’t even remember who taught me how to play. Obviously, this was way before folks played games on a PC or mobile device. There I was with a deck of real frickin’ playin’ cards, hijacking the dining room table, playin’ that game for hours. Not that I didn’t do “outside stuff”, too. All boomer kids played lots of tag, hot-pot and sandlot baseball. And dodge ball, kick ball and tether ball. We did all of it. But I loved Solitaire then and I still do.

I would sometimes play on my bed with the desk chair pulled right up to. Another confession: I’d rarely make my bed unless I was going to play. The cards don’t lay flat on a bed unless it’s pretty damn tidy! Got the visual yet?

That got me into collecting playing cards, too. Still have about a dozen decks in a storage place; my faves are the Pepsi cards and the zebra-backed ones. It doesn’t get any better than that! I’d had up to twenty or so decks, not sure how many of those I could lay my hands on if I made the trek to storage and started lookin’ around… Hoping the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles deck is still there…

These days, of course, it’s so convenient to play on a tablet. One of my fave time-wasters. Oh, no! Make that my absolutely fave. Nothing comes close. I don’t play any other games; downloaded Missile Command and some other classic Atari Games, but I don’t put down the Solitaire long enough to play the others. Yeah, it’s an addiction. I don’t deny it.

Unlike many other hard-core players, I don’t really chase points. It’s a bit like wine drinking; it’s better and more fun if you pace yourself and go for max enjoyment and not for shear speed. Not too different from the way I travel; I like to get off the interstate sometimes and check out the local stuff, rather than just jetting around at 80 mph for the sake of making time. You know, the journey, not the destination.

Solitaire. Not a bad past time for a dinosaur like me. But I’m not entirely old-school here; while my fave decks of 52 are languishing in storage, I’m in the recliner with my Kindle Fire, playing an ancient game on a 21st Century tech toy. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

 

“Bulldog Ben” Basile

 

© 2018 Ben Lawrence Basile

Photo credit Ben Lawrence Basile

 

Passing along some amazing pix

Passing along some amazing pix

As anyone who’s read my blog knows, I really love sharing good photos with folks who come around. Wanting to share good photographic work is, by far, the biggest motivator for me when I’m putting together a new post.

Usually it’s my work. Today it’s not. This brief feature I found on yahoo news is just so very good! I like it better than any photo feature I’ve seen in a very long time.

A smallish ship named Gunilda went down in Lake Superior 107 years ago. Because of the depth at the site and the cold climate, it’s almost perfectly preserved.

Seeing these extraordinary photos is well worth a couple of minutes of your day. Really.

If you like good–and very unusual–photography as much as I do, click on this link.

 

Lover of good photography, I am,

“Bulldog Ben” Basile

 

Photo credit Ben Lawrence Basile

PS: the banner pic at the top of this post is one of mine and is not, of course, from the wreck of Gunilda. It’s from the “wreck” of a now-sunken restaurant I loved. I chose it simply because I like it and it fits the mood of the post better than any other photo I have at my disposal.